Empathy

•April 15, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Of course, I could have said to her: “Hey lady, you gave me a twenty instead of a ten”, but what if she was bad at math in school and that brought back all the sad memories, so she had to drink heavily and take some pills after work.
So, I kept the twenty and made her happy, instead.
I guess, that’s what empathy is all about.

Toaster

•April 15, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Have you ever found a slice of cheese in a toaster?
Neither have I.
But whoever is going to use this toaster next, he will.

I usually clean up after myself. But in case there is some major class breaking or throwing up involved, I just sneak out before anybody else wakes up.
…or cheese in a toaster.

what crisis

•April 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I find this current financial crisis amusing. Your assets go sour, nobody is lending you any money, your broker is in jail, you lose your job…

Hell, seems like a regular Monday to me.

virginity, gone

•April 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I am one of those rare cases, who cannot tell for sure how they lost their virginity.

It was either with Pocahontas or a rubber boat in a summer camp.

Well, either way, it happened IN a rubber boat.

camping

•April 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Oh my god, she looked corgeous in the moonlight. The heavy breathing, the sweatty complexion and the shiny blonde hair…  Slowly, slowly I got closer and closer to her.

Then suddenly her boyfriend ruined everything. – Who the hell are you!  he cried,  and what the hell are you doing in our tent?

mind the cat

•April 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

If your sister wants to leave her cat with you for a few days for any reason, refuse! If you owe money to her, you can’t, of course, and you are stuck with the beast. Now, pay attention! Yes, it seems to be true that cats always fall on their feet, but there are limits to how many floors they can take.

enhancement

•April 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

They keep sending me email about those penis enhancement gadgets. I don’t mind that. What I really want to know is who the hell told them.

 
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